Friday, February 01, 2008

Friday Porn: Abbi Tatton Edition

Abbi Tatton, Internets reporter and Albion-tongued CNN dream girl, you've touched our heart -- right after you touched our blog!

So there you are, dear reader: Multiple terrorist attacks have rocked the United States. A state of emergency has been declared. The blood-dimmed tide has been loosed in the mind of every citizen, who now expects the worst. Chaos reins.

Naturally, you will want to know how Daily Kos, Jeff Jarvis, and the Ron Paul Forum weighed in on this momentous event. But who the fuck has the time, right? Enter Abbi. This "Situation Room" contributor will stand in front of a giant plasma screen for you, confidently tapping shiny browser bars, or maximizing Web video of George Allen defending his law office's noose display. It's sorta-reporting at the speed of a T1 connection!

If you like your latest blog rants wrapped up in game-show-style delivery, then this sexy parajournalist eye candy will show you her Midas touch. Pat, The Darn News would like to solve the puzzle: "Investment in original reporting is dead."

3 comments:

The Duke from Dukes Court said...

smart, attractive, and she can use a computer? sounds like my kind of woman

gunn said...

The eyes are lacking the gleam, the spark..almost like a halibut. Something's not there.

CapitolMAN said...

I got your Tatton right here, Abbi.

That doesn't make sense? Whatever, comment arbiter.