Friday, October 19, 2007

Take the A (Hole) Train


You think your morning commute sucks? Try riding to work with John Clifford, ex-cop and LIRR schoolmarm. Clifford has been arrested ten times for accosting fellow travelers who break rules of courtesy and public etiquette.

My personal favorite anecdote [from the NY Post]: "Four hefty girls get on and yap, yap, yap," he recalled. Then one woman nudged him, causing him to spill coffee on his pants. Clifford returned the favor by pouring coffee on her pants. She poured the cup of joe on him again, so he answered by dumping the contents of his cup on her head.

From Gov't Issue: If a parboiled Irishman in cheap dockers ever interrupts my commute he's getting thrown from the train faster than Mama.

Frankly, I like this chap. I'm too passive-aggressive to do anything remotely opprobrious to another human being, but this guy's the genuine article. No more public cell phone chatter. Shut the hell up, America.

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