Thursday, October 04, 2007

PA Gaming Control Board Burns Clairton to Ground

Clairton, a small town on the Mon River, fell to forces allied with the PA Gaming Control Board at 3:45PM EST today. Sources say PGCB sacked Clairton with murderous fury, meeting little resistance from the mostly aged and impoverished population. Clairton's economy, once characterized by fiery hearths and teeming streets, has shrunk to little more than Social Security, stale doughnuts and coffee. Several storefronts, offering breakfast fare and number writing, remain open in defiance of widespread abandonment. It is these final vestiges of economic vitality targeted by the pillaging Junta.

At noon, the City's defenses withered. By 3, billows of smoke cloaked St. Clair Avenue. One PGCB officer gleefully dumped gasoline all over Margie's Doughnuts and Coffee, one of the few remaining storefronts along Clairton's main thoroughfare. "Forty years of work here in the making," he chortled as he struck a match. "State's been killin this place off one street at a time since HUD crammed the Projects down Clairton's throat in '65. I'm just proud to be doin' my part." Another PGCB officer had the elderly proprietor cum criminal Margie face-down on the pavement as flames engulfed her store. "Gambling is illegal and immoral," he screamed as he ground Margies face into the sidewalk. "Gambling revenues go to horse racing or Billy DeWeese's political slush fund, not to thugs like you!"

Allegheny County promises dozens more such raids in the future, promising to squeeze the last drops of life from small towns like Clairton into Don Barden's palatial casino on the North Shore, and the Meadowlands in economically distraught North Strabane. With the last 12 or so storefronts left on St. Clair Avenue reduced to cinders, its clear they mean business.

No comments: