Monday, October 01, 2007

Gum Fight

What's that? Write a post about chewing gum? Mmm ... okay!

Like most compulsive smokers and crash-dieting health zealots, the editorial staff of The Darn News loves gum for its stress-reducing and appetite-suppressing qualities, among other things. But which brand of ground chicle is best for that sudden work craving, and which deserves to be stuck under the nearest bar stool?

Now New York Magazine -- a glossy events calendar featuring interviews with undistinguished elitists -- has attempted to settle the chewing-gum wars once and for all. We're right there with you in the mint and fruit categories (Wrigley's and Adams Sour Cherry), New York, but Bazooka Joe as the bubblegum winner?! Repeat after us, citified liberals: BIG LEAGUE-EFFING CHEW. Now, if you'll excuse us, the DN has to get back to blogging and chewing gum at the same time and watching our bodies slowly decay.

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