Friday, August 17, 2007

Alabama With Caribou

Yeah, yeah: We all know how effed up the South can be – concentrated poverty; literacy rates low enough to make Uzbekistan blush; down-homey racism and homophobia. But, Jesus Christ, Alaska is trying really hard to be the newest shit-splat capital of the United States, doesn’t it seem?

Which leads me to Ted “Series of Tubes” Stevens, the Senate’s longest-serving member. This completely undistinguished individual has presided over one of the most fraudulent transfers of wealth in United States history; namely, taking tax dollars from real states (like mine) and giving them to oil-soaked pretend states (like Alaska). As chairman of the Senate Appropriations Committee, Sen. Stevens spent more than six years larding every major spending bill he could with worthless pork-barrel programs designed to help a handful of privileged voters in his boring, quasi-Canadian home state.

Bridge to Nowhere, ANWR drilling, the strategic gooney bird reserve – each of these (fine, maybe not that last bit) represents the latest kind of corrupt government boondoggle which has accomplished little besides two things: the surveilling of the entire Alaskan congressional delegation by federal and state authorities, and deepening the rift between conservatives and Republicans in the rest of the country.

I am loath to close. Senator Ted Stevens does not deserve a hero’s welcome home. Please, for the sake of your reputation, Alaska, throw this grifting old fool under the bus. For years you’ve been wasting money like a New Yorker at a bagel sale and it’s getting embarrassing. Vote him out in 2008.


Steve said...

Attention Great Hive- I agree with Government's Issue regarding Stevens.. i'll wait for you to get back up..

This is the Washington affect that has slowly creeped into the Republican party over the past 20 years.. and is why they got the boot last year.

This mindset however has its roots on the Left, so your side will not be unscathed from wrath.. which is why the line item veto is so very needed.

The Great Hive said...

I think we can all agree Senator Stevens needs to be locked up:

And that the Washington insiders in general (left and right) have created a culture of corruption.

Obama in '08! Let's elect a civil rights crusader, a visionary, and a good human being, instead of an "experienced" politico.

Steve said...

"Obama in '08! Let's elect a civil rights crusader, a visionary, and a good human being, instead of an "experienced" politico."

This is code for: inexperienced leader