White yinzers in West Mifflin are freaking out. Black people from Duquesne are coming, and they're bringing their guns and crack. Before you know it, yinzer Dad, one of 'them' is gonna come wagging his enormous **** up your driveway, and run off with your daughter.
"My daughter is scared to death of the first day of school," said yinzer mom Cheryl Hejnosz in a seemingly unrelated statement. "I moved to the Mon Valley because of its long tradition of segregation. I mean, my kid goes to AP English and onto college, 'their' kids go to 8 periods of study hall and then onto jail." Nothing wrong with that, right?
So how to screen the unwashed masses soon to matriculate with your lilly white babies... well of course, you get metal detectors so they can't bring their savage gun-totin ways into your school. Plans are also afoot for separate bathrooms and water fountains.
Nota Bene, less than 200 kids from Duquesne will matriculate at West Mifflin High, not 2 miles from their beleaguered home at Duquesne High. This into a school of over 2,000, flush with cash and opportunity. Thanks for reminding us how ridiculously racist you jackasses are.