Thursday, June 07, 2007

Friday Porn: the Early Edition [Brandi Engel]


The very fetching Yunzer Skank of the Week: Brandi Engel

Here it is, pedophiles. The never-duplicated, often imitated Darn News' soft-core teen porn. Today's hottie is Brandi Engel, a future Hollywood starlet who hails from Mt. Lebanon and stars in the soon-to-be canceled premiering mini-series, Kill Point, on Spike TV.

I recently heard Ms. Engel (age 18, I believe) on the X Morning Show with Tim Benz. The beguiling Brandi deftly deflected the lascivious questions of Mr. Benz, an amusing troll-like libertine who used to smart it up with Mark Madden but now must make the funnies for the illiterate, angstified VAN-wearing teenager. Keep it smart, Benzy. It suits you.

So DN readers, you heard it here first. Off the record. On the Q.T. And very *hush * hush *

We're trying to be equal-opportunity offenders. So here's something for the ladies.

5 comments:

dig said...

I'm offended. The preferred nomenclature for readers like myself is not pedophile, it is: Ephebophilia (also known as Phebophilia, Hebephilia, or Lolita Syndrome), has been defined as a sexual preference in which an adult is primarily or exclusively sexually attracted to pubescent adolescents. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

is this all the DN is good for any more … posts of “new broads”? when did this blog become a Big Picture Book for circle jerks? maybe it should be renamed to something more accurate like, The T&A Daily.

the whole of the Darn News reading material used to be thoughtful, provocative. i recently reviewed some classic posts from 2005, and i do mean CLASSIC … bitch slapping maureen dowd, bad pictures of john defazio, sentimental sojourns, and the short-comings of the URA and the PAT system.

but now … well, just look at the kind of commentary you're getting. while there are still a handful of well-written and scathingly insightful articles to be found, this blog is ultimately being redefined by its trashier posts. i doubt the washington post will be giving you another shout-out any time soon.

so how about it? just cut it out with the cheap (and mind-numbing) sensationalist shit and give your READERS something that's deserving of their loyalty, and patience?

dig said...

Sounds like a dedicated fan to me....I admire his/her passion. After some reflection, I feel that I have been goading the DN on with my admittedly twisted commentary. ...You know, Pittsburgh has plenty of public figures, programs, and problems to poke fun at. It always has anyway. .....What is going on here these days? I can't stomach the local news, but surely someone is completely screwing something up and no one is paying much attention. You got anything for us, DN???

CapitolMAN said...

We're posting Friday Porn - along with commentary on public policy and all things Pittsburgh - more consistently. There's really just more of everything now.

Andrew said...

I would like to say that I am really happy with the direction of The Darn News. In my time at The Tartan, I realized your first duty as a journalist is to get someone's attention. And then you can sneak in some knowledge once you have the drooling idiots actually reading a newspaper. How else are you going to compete with video games, booze, and masturbation?

I am actually serious.