Friday, May 18, 2007

Friday Porn: Bubbleheaded Bleach Blondes N'at (AKA Why I Love Becky Emmers)

Preamble from Daingerous (Gov't Issue):
The Internets is a demanding subject, approachable only to the select few. And by few I mean chicks. And by select I mean blond. When were moderately attractive women endowed with the authority to speak ex cathedra on every subject, earthly or otherwise? You're a piece of arm candy, lady, not a yogi. I blame Fox News; they've completely destroyed the notion that you can present the news to adults without tawdry window dressing. Eh, who am I kidding? I'd much rather watch a discussion about Afghan education development when it's moderated by somebody who looks like a porn star with a RAND Corp. white paper committed to memory.

The Internets just became a little more manageable thanks to Ashley and Becky Emmers, co-vixens of Links N'@, a new segment on WTAE. According to Tiger Paws, the yearbook at North Allegheny High School, these two veteran newswomen were voted 'Most Likely to Sleep with a Boss to Get Ahead.'

Just kidding, ladies.

In their second installment of Links N'@, Becky Emmers and Ashley introduce the viewer to:

1. Site of the Day: urbandictionary.com. It's a compendium of cultural argot. Fo shizle, my nizle.

2. Video of a turtle attacking a housecat. The story retold by one of the newsbabes:
"This giant beast of a tortoise is defending its territory and will stop at literally nothing to attack this poor cat that's trying to enjoy a little sunshine."

3. There's pictures of hot chicks at Maxim. No kidding.

4. American Idol is still on the air.

Keep up the vapid work, Paris and Nicole! One day there may be a spot for you at CNN.

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