My daily morning walk to work follows Ellsworth Avenue to South Highland on my way to East Liberty. Passing the multiple bus stops and coffee shops, I get an opportunity to gawk at the hundreds of 20-something women waiting for the 71C to Oakland. Good way to start the morning right.
As I passed Spahr Ave. this morning, the air filled with the acrid stench of burning oil that exceeded even the worst of fumes from the busway. I turned. The small shops along Ellsworth were obscured by a cloud of white smoke. Leading this environmental catastrophe, a 1985 Chrysler Mini-Van with a gigantic American flag magnet plastered across the hood.
The ribbon thing is ridiculous, but a huge American flag? I was waiting for the cloud to dissipate, so I could see Patton's helmeted head protruding from the top of the van, screaming orders to the 5th Corp marching lock-step behind him. What the hell could possibly be flagman's rationale. Is he worried about being mistaken as an 'enemy combatant' by the airforce; in which case, green body and white star on the hood, Tex. Maybe its worse: he actually lives between Brit Hume and R. Lee Ermy. Ever since Ermy started strutting his shit in fatigues, and driving to work in a 1956 G.I. Jeep Willy, flagman has been in the dumps. Not this week though... he is showing a Nazi SS Officer's enthusiasm for the American cause in advance of Brit's Saturday afternoon Barbeque/Loyalty roasts.
As he passed, I saluted. Judging by the scowl on his face as he stared at me, I was the wierdo. It seems that, inspite of my best efforts, I'm never going to get my invite to that f**king barbeque.