Wednesday, September 28, 2005

God Bless America, pass the Ribs.

My daily morning walk to work follows Ellsworth Avenue to South Highland on my way to East Liberty. Passing the multiple bus stops and coffee shops, I get an opportunity to gawk at the hundreds of 20-something women waiting for the 71C to Oakland. Good way to start the morning right.

As I passed Spahr Ave. this morning, the air filled with the acrid stench of burning oil that exceeded even the worst of fumes from the busway. I turned. The small shops along Ellsworth were obscured by a cloud of white smoke. Leading this environmental catastrophe, a 1985 Chrysler Mini-Van with a gigantic American flag magnet plastered across the hood.

The ribbon thing is ridiculous, but a huge American flag? I was waiting for the cloud to dissipate, so I could see Patton's helmeted head protruding from the top of the van, screaming orders to the 5th Corp marching lock-step behind him. What the hell could possibly be flagman's rationale. Is he worried about being mistaken as an 'enemy combatant' by the airforce; in which case, green body and white star on the hood, Tex. Maybe its worse: he actually lives between Brit Hume and R. Lee Ermy. Ever since Ermy started strutting his shit in fatigues, and driving to work in a 1956 G.I. Jeep Willy, flagman has been in the dumps. Not this week though... he is showing a Nazi SS Officer's enthusiasm for the American cause in advance of Brit's Saturday afternoon Barbeque/Loyalty roasts.

As he passed, I saluted. Judging by the scowl on his face as he stared at me, I was the wierdo. It seems that, inspite of my best efforts, I'm never going to get my invite to that f**king barbeque.

No comments: