Michael Brown, the embattled FEMA director and former Arabian horse czar, just can't seem to catch a break. First, the liberal media jump all over him just because he let a few thousand people die. Now those muckrakers over at Time want to suggest that he may have been less than truthful on a few resumes. I say, So what? "Brownie" is qualified for this job. If you don't believe me then just ask his former boss, Edmond, Okla., city manager and pleasant old man Bill Dashner:
"He was very loyal. He was always on time. He always had on a suit and a starched white shirt."
There you have it, folks. So the next time you find yourself homeless because a globally-warmed super-tornado ripped the top off your house, forcing you to barter your sister to a roving band of sex criminals for the last raspberry Snapple, which grants you just enough strength to beat your heatstroked dog to death with an old oar you found floating amidst your now-submerged town's steady stream of fresh corpses, putting it out of its incalculable misery before finally slitting your own wrists with the same broken Snapple bottle, just think: "When Michael Brown gets here, in like three days, his shirt will be pressed magnificently."