Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Sex, Grass, and Petty Politics

A Stroll in the Park
In an incident reminicent of Center City Philadelphia's Strawbridges scandalous bathroom-based lust-chamber in which 16 were arrested, Settler's Cabin County Park looks like it has a little dirty wood of its own. Much like the internet based sex ring that operated out of the bathroom stalls of Philly's venerable department store, 27 men were arrested in the Allegheny County park for 'soliciting anonymous sex.'

Little Secrets at the Big House
An AlleghenyCounty Prision guard who worked hard on the job gets nailed. Looks like he's headed back to the Big House, only in a different capacity.

Welcome to the Jungle
Growing a forest in one's front yard is not an offense deserving of jailtime, a judge ruled regarding the jungle-esque decor of a Wilkins Township woman's front lawn. When questioned, the woman said she wasn't bitter for having been jailed over a month. "I actually met this really sweet prision guard..."

Bear Bites Dog
In an act deserving of Lassie, a 1 year old Boxer pup saves bratty kids from death. The bear charged three youths, but was dissuaded by the family dog.

Up Yours Rick
Hillary Clinton shoved Rick Santorum into a locker, causing the junior Senator from Pennsylvania to drop all his books. Santorum responds by writing nasty things about Hillary in Senate bathroom stall, including her phone number....

Actually, Sen. Clinton yelled, "Thanks for the free promotion on my book, I'm making a mint off of this culture war junk." Santorum responded, "Yeah, I can afford to pay for my kids' cyber-schooling all by myself now!"

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