Friday, July 08, 2005

Eweful News

In a terrible tragedy (don't underestimate this), 1,500 sheep jumped off a cliff in Turkey, leaving villagers bereft of mutton, wool, and all the other perks associated with being a shepherd. With 450 dead sheep valued at over $100,000, the event portends serious consequences for a society that lives off of less than $3,000 dollar a year per capita. Even if they know what insurance is in that small village, rest uneasy that they don't have any. While 1,500 sheep took the fateful plunge into the ravine, most were spared when they landed on the fluffy pile of other sheep.

In news related to backwards societies, Pennsylvania's shining knight Ed Rendell was proud to announce that starting Labor Day, we can now get our cases of brew on Sundays, ending a law that has sent thrifty alcoholics into frenzies for decades, with beer only available from cutthroat bars and beer vendors at something like $908,273,598,723,489 per six pack. The legislation protects these racketeers by providing them a 10% discount on wholesale purchases, maintaining the deep culture of corruption, personal interests, and stupidity at all levels of government in PA.

But not so stupid as the parental culture in Tennessee, where moms and dads like to hire strippers for their sons' birthday parties. Compounding the idiocy, the parents shared these tig bitties with their son's friends. Compounding the disgusting nature of the story -- gramps was invited. Speaking of melons....

In more serious news, check out Dvorak.org for a blog better than this one. And if you thought you knew how to use a hyphen... well, you didn't. Don't even get me started on M- and N-dashes. Thanks Julie Watt.

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