When I was reading it this morning, I was laughing aloud, but now it just seems quirky. However, I'm going with my gut. Then I need to waddle down the hall and get my coffee and cheerios.
From "Trying to Save Piggy Sneed," a collection of short stories by John Irving, in the story "The Imaginary Girlfriend,"
When I disqualified the heavyweight, his parents came out of the stands and confronted me inthe middle of the mat. I had no trouble recognizing who they were -- they didn't have to introduce themselves. At a glance, I could see they'd swum forth from the same gene pool for enormity that had spawned their son. Cliff saved me.
"If you understand nothing else, you can understand one rule," Cliff told the heavyweight's parents. "It's just one rule and I'm going to tell you once." (I could see he had their attention.) "This is a mat," Cliff said, pointing to where we were standing. "And that," Cliff said -- pointing to the scorer's table where the heavyweight had thrown his opponent -- "that is a goddamn table. In wrestling," Cliff said, "we do it on the mat. That's the rule." The heavyweight's parents shuffled away without a word. Cliff and I were alive in the finals.